GSS — The Great Singapore Sale 2010.

It’s June, and the Great Singapore Sale is here!

Or should I say, Great Singapore Sail?

You know, the one where floating mannequins caressed the muddy waters of Orhard Road, victim of an unsuspecting flash flood?

Well, who knows what else could be seen floating around during that freak flood of Wednesday morning right?

Take a look at these:

The GSS — Great Singapore Sail — truly one of a kind!

Now that there are plenty muddied items and damaged goods, I wonder if there’ll be a GSGSSS coming up.

Yep it stands for ‘Great Singapore Great Singapore Sail Sale’ where still moisty and smelly items on sale, probably at discounts of 90% onwards.

Don’t Singaporeans love a bargain when they can find one?

In any case, even if the GSGSSSS never materialises (not that I think it has any decent chance of happening though~), just browsing through the pictures of the catastrophe, which happens like once every, oh wait it’s never really happened before right?

Anyway, the real bargains are really these pictures here.

Muse yourselves~!

People’s park complex’ 5th storey carpark on fire — Nothing’s too hot to handle.

No bodily fluid were lost and no persons were injured due to the fire but there have been unconfirmed reports that several charred rubber dolls and melted rubber gels, which it is believed as, have been detected.

Black-sooted sex toys, some say, were also found to have been kept within the scorched ‘storeroom’.

Hmmm.

In any case, there have been no reports whatsoever that anyone working in the vicinity of that building will be given a week’s rest from work, due to non-existent reports that one techinician, and at most two, will tend to the unspecified damages.

It is not reported at all that they will dutifully service the telephone cables and switchboards, which arose from the fallen ceiling boards, which actually never really fell at all.

In any case, they would probably satisfy the reported Tenants’ laments at the building management’s apparent lack of building management.

Unsurprisingly, they are fuming — the tenants, not the building walls — if reports of the ‘Aftermath of People’s Park Fire‘ is to be believed.

Nevertheless much appreciation goes to the Singapore Civil Defence Force, or SCDF, for bringing the fire under control in about 45 minutes. Wait, or is it a few hours? Well, does it matter?

No lives were lost and that’s what mattered most, and so the moral of the story is…

Don’t keep your sex toys in the storeroom. Upgrade yourselves with SCDF’s latest fire safety initiatives.

And never, never, never, never, ever treat a fire alarm as merely just another drill.

The advent of MRT’s circle line and its 5 year wait.

Singapore’s fourth Mass Rapid Transit, or MRT, line have finally opened 11 more stations after a long 5 year wait for a certain 18-year old, a self-professed train enthusiast, which would make him barely of 13 years of age when he first patiently waited.

The Circle line, after stage 2 of its opening has completed, SHE will lay claim as the first ever group of girl band to giggle and sing-along in an underground station consists of 16 lines which are now in operation. 15 more will be launched during the final stage 3 of its launch phase, which will amount to 35.7km of rails.

Wow, that’s a lot of rails.

In any case, this latest launch meant that accessibility to the National Stadium and its neighbouring facilities, like the Indoor Stadium, will be greatly amplified.

Definitely music to the ears of Singapore’s concert-goers and an exhilirating ride for sports enthusiasts as they gather in mass for their favourite sporting event, such as the much anticipated Barcelona visit at the National Stadium, later this year.

Eh, wait a minute, isn’t the game still in limbo, due to the unavailability of our National Stadium?

What’s happening to our great sporting icon anyway?

It’s okay, nevermind if us locals aren’t able to watch the spectacle that is the mighty Barcelona FC thrashing our selected Singapore representatives, because there’s still the Ungu Mega Concert and the Kelly Clarkson Mega Tour to look forward to in this month alone.

And that’s two great reasons to never not use the circle line in this month.

The advent of the Circle Line have indeed made it all a whole lot sweeter, especially if you’re a self-professed train enthusiast.

And loves Kelly Clarkson.

A sexual experience like no other.

Now here’s one sexual reproduction activity that wouldn’t mind getting caught on camera and be made news — in fact, the wider the message goes, the better it gets.

No, I’m not commenting on the arrests of nearly 140 people in the anti-crime operation sometime early this Sunday morning, nor is it about the ‘strip to get fit’ sexercise — as if you can’t get fit with your clothes on right??? — which begs the question of why are you giving away your money to dance and take off your clothes when you can do it for free?

Okay, so I won’t do it for free, but maybe an Iced Latte might tempt me — yes, I’m that cheap.

Um, so back to that okay-for-publicity reproduction activities. Read on.

If you’re thinking about 14 to 17 year olds boozing the night away along the river banks or the rise of rich youths with spending power abusing drugs, well that’s not it either.

By the way, if you’re asking if it’s the Kallang River.. Well kids, go find out for yourselves, and remember to dress well EVERY friday, if you must.

SECORE, short for SExual COral REproduction, is a workshop that aims to help public aquariums, like our Underwater World, breed their own corals, preserve existing habitats and even find ways to restore damaged reefs.

Reefs?

Yes, if you didn’t knew, Singapore does have Coral Reefs and no thanks to land reclamations, dumpings, and the increase in temperature, they are dying gradually, but there’s still quite a healthy amount of reefs to be appreciated along with the marine life that it sustains.

Not interested in reefs? Well neither am I, but anything that goes out to preserve and maintain the natural state of our environment, and especially one that concerns close to my home, I suppose there’s no harm in spreading the message.

It’s way better than stripping, boozing or getting involved with illegal drugs anyway.

So if you’re interested in sex secore, then head over to their official website and start conserving reefs around the world.

Making Dads busier by engaging them with school activities.

I’m sure you’ve probably read of the ‘Dads For Life Movement’, where the government is stepping in to ensure that Dads, or some Dads with spare time, spend that time by engaging themselves with their kids in activities and events organised by their respective child’s school.

Lo and behold, $2000 a year for schools to organise such father-and-child bonding camps or whatever events they think might be appropriate, but if you asked me, I think an evening out at the arcade, or just being around when your kids are doing homework AT HOME will be far more beneficial in terms of bonding with a child than being in an ‘organised’ camp.

There’s something about the word ‘organised’ that tells me how artificial and plastic the bond is going to be, and no doubt that there’ll be a certain kind of bond made, but not the type that will last you till the old gaffer kicks the bucket — because during that time, noone remembers about a school camp, or a school activity.

First and foremost, I’m not against this Dads For Life movement, or is it Fathers@School movement, but I just feel that the need for an ‘organised bonding session’ arises simply because Dads are busy elsewhere, and quite certainly they don’t need to have an extra date in their planner to accomodate a camp, per se.

I think that Dads are far better off, spending time with their children at home, and that’s simply by being around and being there to talk to, to be with. And to do that, Dads needs to ‘escape’ from work, and how many Singaporean Dads truly just sits at home for half a day and start talking to their child?

Dads For Life, sounds really innovative and great, but Fathers @ School, that’s up for debate.

$2000? And that’s for per school, so I reckon that with the hundreds of participating schools, a lot of taxpayers money is being spent on a ‘CCA’ for Dads, who really, just needs to be away from work, away from the buzz that is life, and to just stay home and BE with their child.

And just by being home, often, that is simply priceless. Let’s not make Dads busier shall we?

Because some Dads are already busy facebooking with their kids — now these Dads don’t need any camps huh?

What does Dr Ionescu, Mustaffa Centre and Starhub have in common?

That they’ll probably get away with it.. (to be continued at the end)

That’s right folks, at the moment, and looking at newsfeeds, it seems to be that no matter what evidence you or charges that you may uncover against a what is believed-to-be-at-scene-of-crime-so-come-back-we’ll-have-a-nice-chat-and-fact-finding-mano-a-mano-talk ex-diplomat, by simply getting your passports chopped and getting out of this country 3 days after commiting a ‘possible’ offence, you may continue playing wii at home with your best friends.

Provided you have a Wii.

And a home that’s not in Singapore.

As for the mammoth store that seems to be selling more stuffs than all of ebay combined, does it matter that fines are coming their way?

Simply pay it off, and keep selling lor — overcrowding? Pay fine again lor~ 37 counts to date? Now let’s set a record shall we?

Anyway, which buyers care for their safety when prices are good and stocks are aplenty?

It’s like telling a child that sugar and sweets are bad for your teeth, when he or she’s starng down the aisle inside a gigantic candy store.

And what’s with the Green logo-ed pay tv channel operator who seems to quite possibly be make it harder for themselves to retain old customers, especially with their latest offering, or should I say, tinkerings?

When cable channels overlapped to over 60+, it became overwhelming back then and when it reached above 150, it was mind-boggling to say the least.

And now we’re possibly heading towards the usage of upto channel 999 when the new system is out, and guess what, they’ll give you a list of the channels available in one worksheet too!

How helpful, where not only did you lose out the English Premiereship rights, the Champions League rights, delayed the world cup broadcast rights, and now this?

Interesting.

(continuing).. for the moment only.

Changi Motorsports Hub (CMH) bid lost by Singapore Agro Agriculture and Sports Services.

Trivia: What does the CMH bid’s winner have to do with the now defunct Go-Kart racing tracks at BoonLay/Jurong (beside AYE)?

Singapore Agro Agriculture, or SAA, the company behind food and retail hub, Turf City, lost.

Sports Services, or SS, fronted and linked to Haw Par Corporation, lost.

Appropriately named SG Changi, emerged victorious with its bid to turn Singapore’s first permanent racetrack into reality.

As usual, grand plans like a racing academy, a 120 roomed hotel, lots of F&B outlets — although no word if Changi Village’s nasi lemak stalls will park there — , a museum and a beach front.

A BEACH FRONT? Wait a minute, a 30 years lease and we’re going to build a beach front???

In any case, the somewhere around $300Million plan does sound good, and I wonder why the other’s lost.

Could it be, of which I’m purely speculating in jest and totally not at all serious with, that SAA’s bid included a hyprophonics farm or a corn estate, which coincidentally can be utilised as fuel? Or perhaps most of the decision making lies with people not wanting another ‘Turf City’ in the eastern side of Singapore?

Could it also be, of which I’m purely speculating in jest and totally not at all serious with, that SS’s bid included an underwater racing track, in line with the company’s majestic stewardship of oceanarium around the region.

I don’t know, I’m just guessing wildly.

But if I was a tycoon and I had wadloads of spare cash (yes spare cash, not some leveraged debt or loans) I’ll gladly focus on getting a world class track, with world class seating arena and viewing facilities, and instead of trying to be a jack of all trades, I’d go with being Master of racing amenities in the region, if not the world.

Then there’d be racing events every week. You name it, kart racing, drag racing, drift racing, motorbike racing, horse racing, dog racing, and if there’s enough interests, shopping trolley racings even. Of course only leagally sponsored trolleys will be allowed. Those taken illegally from supermarkets will be handed over to the authorities.

Thankfully, for Singapore’s sake, I don’t have wadloads of spare cash, and so I hope  SG Changi goes out to create a world beating track there.

Answer to trivia above: They’re both owned by the same Boss, Mr Thia Yoke Kian.

Battlestar Galactica ride closed due to technical glitch.

Worry not theme-park go-ers, your rides will resume shortly.

Once the ride have been certified safe again, and its license reinstated of course.

Anyway isn’t it great safe and efficiently cautiously Singaporean to be safe than sorry, and non more evident on the world stage than this latest setback at Resorts World Sentosa, or RWS.

Robin Goh, RWS’ spokesman said, “In keeping with our commitment to employee and guest safety, the ride was immediately closed and will not be operating until we determine the cause and solution.” and where he did not actually said nor added “Because if anyone falls off the rides, we wouldn’t want to go through the hassles of lawyers and proceedings. Too expensive lah. Plus it wouldn’t look nice in our CVs if there’s a *touch-wood* casualty in our first month of operations. Holler.”

Ahhh, home sweet home.

CYA~!

A Reason To Smile

Have you been to Changi Airport lately and witnessed for yourself just how magnificent and much improved their service and standards have been?

No? Neither did I.

But if Skytrax’s ready to award our National Icon the World’s Best Airport, as reported by Today Online, then there must be something really good going on.

Third just last year, Changi Airport regained its lofty status thanks to the hard work of hundreds to thousands of workers, who underwent countless training hours, to smile and put up friendly faces, among other things.

I wonder, does the fact that one needs to be trained to do (smile) so, quite possibly leaves to ponder:

1. Do we know how to smile without training? Other than on payday and bonus months, when do we actually smile?


2. Is there vacancy for a ‘Smile Guru’? If there is, I’d like to sign up please.

Anyway, kudos to the men and women of Changi Airport for their endeavours. Well done.

Cheers~

Hand Food And Mouth Disease On The Rise – Remember To Wash!

Please, please, please, please, please remember to keep your area clean and tidy.

HFMD is reportedly on the rise, and just a few more cases need to be reported before a health warning will be issued, but at the moment as it stands, it’s worryingly on the rise.

Of course when illnesses or diseases gives a visit, it is probably fated, or unfortunate, depending on how you view it, but one thing for sure is that you can certainly minimise the risks of it affecting you, or your family.

Consult your family doctor if you find symptoms appearing and it is best to take action early, than to delay and regret later.

HFMD usually infects children and infants.

Symptoms include fever, ulcers in the throat and rashes on the hands and feet.

HFMD is spread from person to person by direct contact through the nasal discharge, saliva, faeces and fluid from the rash of an infected person.

Not to be confused sinuses with nasal discharge though, but of course it never harms to be extra cautious — any nasal discharge, then please go and see a doctor.

You sneeze, maybe sinus, but take precautions and quickly go see your doctor.

You sob, from korean melodramas, but take precautions and just go see your doctor.

You pick your nose, and it’s wet, just take precaution and go see your doctor.

Remember, be safe, see your doctor and meanwhile, wash, wash and wash!